When we moved into our house, the previous owner had these wide closet doors that wouldn’t stay shut and it drove my wife crazy. I decided to solve the problem by installing ball catches to hold the doors in place.
Whenever I go to the hardware store, I always read the instructions of anything I need to install before I make any purchases. It gives me the opportunity to buy any extra tools I might need and gives me a chance to make sure I am up to the task. Picked up a Stanley ball catch and read the instructions. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Got it. Took it home, whipped out my hulking, pseudo-phallic symbol of a power drill and went to work. I always read the directions several times before I do anything, because a mistake on a home project is acutely painful – especially if there is a drill involved.
I don’t know how I did it, but I completely missed this word ‘mortise’. I didn’t really know what it meant, but how difficult could it be? Any step described by one word can’t be that complicated. Step 6 was soon upon me, ‘mortise’. I whipped out the dictionary and looked it up and still couldn’t figure it out. Then it dawned on me. I had to gouge out a recess in the door frame so that the strike plate would be be flush with the frame. When the door closes, the ball in the ball catch needs a recess in the frame to hold the door shut. I don’t like the idea of gouging anything and began to make the problem much more complicated than it really was.
“Huh? I have to gouge a recess in the frame?! Why didn’t they just say so?! These people were expecting me to get my wood chisels and start carving a hole in the door frame. I’m not a carpenter! How many rows upon rows of lexicographers did it take to come up with this word – mortise!? If they wanted me to gouge out a hole in the frame, why didn’t they just say tell me to ‘gouge out a hole in the frame?’ These corporate titans sitting behind their massive mahogany desks preying upon the everyday house husband. These people screwed me!”
I was fuming. Eventually, I cooled off, accepted my situation, and set out to come up with a solution. Wound up drilling a couple shallow holes and then finishing it with a slightly deeper hole in the center. Piece of cake. The ball catch works beautifully and is the standard to which all persons installing ball catches should aspire.
Then the pall of the irony hit me like a ton of bricks. The Stanley Corporation did exactly what I would have told them to do. They skirted over the unsavory details. They created an image of simplicity by making their instructions so trite, I would just read right through them. If I had been reading the instructions in the store and read, “6. Gouge or drill a recess in the frame of the door.”, I probably wouldn’t have purchased the ball catch. I would have looked for a “simpler solution” from another company. When I actually went about installing the ball catch the real problem was freaking out when things weren’t as straight forward as I expected. I over-reacted, even though I had all of the tools and savvy I needed to do the job. They did what I encourage job seekers to do every day. Downplay the details of anything that the prospective employer might find unsavory. Bring attention to what you have accomplished in the context of what they want to hear. Downplay everything and anything that does not pertain to what they are looking for.
This of course begs the question, “Don’t you risk running the chance that the employer will be fuming after you get hired?” The answer is a firm and resolute, “No!” That’s the job you want, right? You have the experience and can attest to it, right? How can the employer fume? Gentle reader, when you are looking for a job you need to close the deal. If there is any dissonance after you are hired, you need to mollify the employer’s fears by reaffirming your qualifications and then going out there and doing an over-the-top job. In fact, if your performance is anywhere near as good as my ball catch installation you can look forward to a long and mutually beneficial relationship with your employer!
